The Pot
by darkchan
Summary: On a mission, Tsuzuki is forced to call on the bigshots, one of his shikigami only shown in the manga


**The Pot**

**Disclaimer:** If I owned Yami no Matsuei I would not be here writing fanfiction… 

**Warnings:** Dead People, Tabasco Sauce, Bazookas, Rubber Snakes, and bizarreness all around. If you cannot handle and of the above then hit the back button, do not pass go, do not collect $200 dollars. 

AN: Okay well first of all I would like to thank my good friend Reg for Beta reading this strange strange piece… This was the result of introducing my little cousin to this wonderful anime, and thereafter staying up all night… If you don't like it feel free to flame… I've been wanting to make 'smores for a while now, and nothing works better than fire. ^-^ 

The battle raged fiercely as both the perpetrator and Tsuzuki traded blows. They had been investigating an unusual set of murders recently, where the victims, all women, ended up with Tabasco sauce (of the Super Hot verity) squeezed into their mouths, and cacti painted on their bodies. At first they had obviously though it was one of Muraki's fiendish plans… after all only that particular psychopath could be so… well… psychotic (or so they thought), but in the end it turned out to be some pervert who derived a weird sense of joy from watching women cry… thus the Tabasco sauce… the paintings were still unexplained. Anyway, they had finally caught up with the villain, but it seemed that he wasn't so bad in the art of fighting, or in this case dubbed "throwing as much ammo at the enemy as possible before ducking behind a ledge and reloading"… And as much as Hisoka and Tsuzuki would have loved to stomp over there and dispose of the creep, even shinigami were susceptible to bazookas… 

Anyway both of our heroes were finding it tough to beat the fugitive, even with all of Tsuzuki's cool-wicked-awesome powers. They had been trying to reach the ledge, where their assignment lie, for the past hour… It was time to call on IT. Over the years Tsuzuki had managed to become the master of some VERY interesting shikagami… one of the strangest being a building shikigami… Tenkuu-ojisama… but no in this case it was something far worse called upon. 

"Brown rim, black gaping hole, round pot that crashes, annihilate my enemy! Daion come forth!" Tsuzuki shouted. Once the words were said a brown pot with holes for eyes and mouth materialized in front of him. The foot tall urn carved an impressive figure against the six foot creep armed with firearms who they were currently battling. 

It was no surprise that upon seeing the jar, Hisoka promptly fell over. Managing to stand back up in record time he posed an important question, one that I'm sure is one the mind of readers everywhere… "What is that?" 

"Eh?" Tsuzuki replied, never having been the brightest pee in the pod. "Oh that, that's Daion, one of my shikigami." Tsuzuki finished proudly, a smile creeping on his face… oh how he loved to tease his partner. 

"No! Really! I though it was your mother's famous turkey gumbo!" It could be said that Hisoka's voice was sarcastic only if it could also be said that absolute zero was chilly. 

"But I though that Gumbo was a Southern American dish… We're in Japan… and my mother been dead for the past 100 years…" Tsuzuki continued on with his jest, innocent face turned towards his partner. 

"Baka" Hisoka was currently rather feed up with his partner… being an empath he couldn't help but feel that smugness that Tsuzuki was emulation. "Just… what it can do. Cook a four star dinner? Boil water? Clean you laundry? What?" 

"Ooooooooh!" Tsuzuki then made a big show of pretending to get what his partner was talking about (please note that during the current conversation the enemy's attention was caught by an inch worm, and so was staring at it in such intense concentration, that he was unable to do any harm to the lead characters). "Well Daion has several attacks… first of he has the "shower of confetti" attack… ideal for any party!" At this point Hisoka began staring at Tsuzuki as if he had grown an extra head. "And then he also has the "grab-bag attack" idea for any prize giving situation!" Hisoka continued to stare at Tsuzuki, now as if he had two extra heads. "He also as the "bobbing for apples" attack, which is VERY useful at Halloween parties…" Hisoka's eyes were now the size of plates, and if one didn't know better, they would have thought that Tsuzuki had just asked him if he wore boxers or briefs. "And finally he has the attack he's using right now." And sure enough Daion was attacking the enemy… with rubber snakes… Shocked by the absurdness of it all, the antagonist of this story promptly fainted. Hisoka looked back at Tsuzuki… "It's called the "Rubber Snake" attack" Tsuzuki finished happily. 

"I'm not even going to ask" Hisoka commented… "I just don't want to know… so let's rope the guy and ship him back to JuOhCho… I take it that you'll want dinner after this?" Hisoka pulled a long length of rope out of nowhere, having become a much accomplished magician, and began to tie up their adversary. 

"Of course I do!!" Tsuzuki replied as he moved to help Hisoka. "Can we get dessert?" He asked, the famous puppy dog look appearing on his face. Now there are several requirements of the perfect puppy dog face that must meet to achieve the desired goal. The big pleading eyes, the pouty lips, the soft whimper… Tsuzuki had long ago perfected all components and now was directing at his partner one of his most used weapons. Luckily for him it seemed to work. 

"Fine… Fine… we can have dessert." Hisoka conceded as he tied up the final knots… He then continued to grab hold of their catch and Tsuzuki's hand (while blushing slightly) and teleported everybody off to the land of the dead. 


End file.
